i am sane;; hawkstar**

[Rebecca]

I guess I don’t really know where to start or what to say, but first off I should probably tell you one thing: I am perfectly sane. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. True, my beliefs may be more radical than anyone else’s, but that doesn’t mean that I’m going mad. However I suppose it is in our nature to pinpoint and seek out those who are different than we are in our society, eh? Well, I suppose me just saying that I’m not crazy wouldn’t be enough to prove my point. So I lay out my history in its entirety to you to help convince you. Hopefully it will, and you will soon start to see my side of the story and the light.

I was born to the tom Blackclaw and the she-cat Brownstream, along with my two siblings Brackenheart and Tawnystream. I can’t honestly say that Blackclaw was the best cat or a good parent, but he was a firm believer in StarClan. My mother Brownstream cared for me as best she could, but she had been severely weakened by giving birth to my siblings and I. After caring for us for five moons, one of the most kindest and good-natured cats I have still to this day ever known passed away. Once Brownstream was gone, the rumors instantly kicked in.

You see, Blackclaw was not a MarshClan cat by birth. He was indeed a PineClan tom who had left PineClan to be in MarshClan to escape his father, Darkstorm. Darkstorm is my grandfather, and is thankfully dead and hopefully resides in the Endless Forest. Darkstorm was an infamous murderer who killed cats for no valid reason. If you crossed the border into PineClan territory for whatever reason, whether it be to retrieve a lost apprentice or to attack, if you were caught by Darkstorm he would kill you. And he was able to do so with ease. Darkstorm was an unimaginably large black tomcat who had the speed of a leopard. There were rumors of Darkstorm killing PineClan cats for questioning him of his harsh treatment of other Clan cats, but those were quickly rebuffed even though there were many deaths in PineClan...

The thing about Darkstorm was that he was a warrior who was highly valued and respected in PineClan for being so loyal and so good in battle. He was apparently a kind and caring cat to most of PineClan. Darkstorm’s fighting tactics won battles for PineClan and at this time he already had a mate and kits, and was beloved in his Clan. So when angry Clan leaders came asking for Darkstorm’s head for the various murders he had supposedly committed in cold blood, PineClan fought viscously against them. Since there were no witnesses to these alleged crimes, Darkstorm got off scot free.

But Blackclaw could see through his father’s charade. He knew that Darkstorm had not killed those cats not to protect PineClan, but for power. The more he killed, the more cats knew him, and the more he was either feared or respected. Whichever it was didn’t matter to Darkstorm. He was slowly making his way to deputyship of PineClan and had gained several close friends, but resembling minions more than friends. Blackclaw was sickened by this and thought this to be against StarClan. He told his thoughts to Rabbitstar, leader of PineClan at the time, but to no avail. Word of Blackclaw’s mutiny got back to Darkstorm’s ears, and a hit was put on Blackclaw. Scared for his life and disgusted with the fact that Darkstorm would get away with whatever he decided to do, Blackclaw left for MarshClan.

Why MarshClan, I really don’t know. Maybe he thought that was the last place Darkstorm would expect him to go. Maybe he had a few friends here. But whatever the reason, Blackclaw decided to ask permission to join MarshClan. Patchstar decided to let him in because well, Patchstar was Patchstar. She was very young and a very liberal leaderand didn’t seem to have much respect in StarClan. But I’ll get to her later on. Blackclaw was allowed to settle in MarshClan, and soon fell in love with my mother. She had his kits nine moons later.

As I said before, after Brownstream, my mother, died rumors circulated around MarshClan. There were always rumors about “Blackclaw and his kits” because we were outsiders… we were PineClan cats. The fact that I was born in MarshClan didn’t seem to matter to anyone at all. As I grew older, I made a few friends, but also multiple prejudiced enemies. A moon before my warrior ceremony, Darkstorm led an attack on the MarshClan camp, killing multiple cats which included my father, Blackclaw. I barely had a scratch on me, because PineClan cats went easy on me and every time I tried to fight Darkstorm he walked away…

No one in MarshClan let that go. They thought I was Darkstorm’s spy when I never was. I wanted nothing to do with Darkstorm. Why he didn’t kill me I have no idea; maybe he thought I would join him or something. You never know about Darkstorm.
by the time I received my warrior name, Hawkclaw, everyone in MarshClan seemed to have turned against me. Everyone except my best friend Gingerstripe. Although she could be rude, arrogant, and blunt, Gingerstripe stood by me when no one else would. It was in those early moons of my warriorship that I turned to StarClan for support, because other than Gignerstripe, they were the only cats who would.

As the moons went on, I became even more religious. Cats started to admire me for being so faithful to StarClan, and gradually the prejudice against me died down. After all, a cat so loyal to StarClan would never break the warrior code, would they? I also started to rebuff the rumors with harsher, more bluntwords, questioning the gossipers about their loyalty.

In time I was trusted and apparently beloved enough to be made the deputy of MarshClan by Patchstar, who I worred very much for. Patchstar and I were very different in terms of faith: she didn't have much and I had too much.

ooc.}
TBC, I'm just posting this so it doesn't get lost on my harddrive. o__o;