Post by Dawn on Jul 13, 2010 17:48:40 GMT -5
[/blockquote][/blockquote]
My birth, should never have happened... a mistake you might say.
The parents who gave me their genes should not have been together. Should never have been together.
Spottedflower and Loonheart, those are my parents you see, were from different Clans. Spottedflower from the cold PineClan, Loonheart from my own Clan of MarshClan. Well no, I shouldn't say my own Clan... or should I? I mean, I grew up here and learned here and am loyal to this Clan... yes, I should say my own Clan.
But anyway, they broke the warrior code in being together. I don't understand why they would go against something so sacred, even for what they thought they needed. But one can't change the past, so there is no point obsessing over it.
The two were in love, I suppose I can't fault them for that. Even if their choice was wrong, they did so because they thought it was right, or something along those lines. Perhaps not right, but something they desperately wanted.
Even though they could have had kits within their own Clan, I have heard from many cats that Spottedflower had a multitude of PineClan admirers while Darkflower of MarshClan was in love with Loonheart, they chose one another. One could almost think it romantic, their secret meetings, whispered words, gentle gazes, except that they had been bound by the warrior code not to continue on.
So, moons after the start of their little romance, Spottedflower became pregnant. My siblings and I, four of us. We were born in the PineClan nursery. Boarfur, Brownpaw, Pumaheart and I. Once we had grown enough that we would be strong enough to travel, our parents decided that they needed to stop seeing each other.
It broke my father's heart, I know it did. But he took my brother Boarfur and I to MarshClan, leaving Brownpaw and Pumaheart with our mother. None in MarshClan really questioned our parentage, for Darkflower fostered us and acted like a mother to us. I assume that most thought she was our mother and never bothered to look deeper.
Even Boarfur and I did not know that our mother was a PineClan warrior and that we had siblings there. Our father never told us any different, and raised us with loving care. We also had our aunt Swiftstream to guide us, and she was always sweet and gentle. We never questioned that we were MarshClan cats.
When we were apprentices, Darkflower was killed by blackcough. We mourned her like she was our own flesh and blood... for at that time, we thought she was. Her death seemed to spark some kind of deeply hidden feeling from Loonheart, and he wasn't the same father we had known. More quiet and depressed, he seemed like a mere shell of himself.
However, after we were made warriors, Loonheart took us out on a hunting trip. Boarfur and I. During the trip, he told us of our torn heritage. Boarfur did not believe it, thinking our father was playing a trick on us. But he was not. And Boarfur was not able to forgive as easily as I. Perhaps because I am a she-cat and more emotionally tuned in than my brother was, I was able to let our father be, even knowing his mistake.
A bit after Loonheart told us of our true blood lines, Boarfur was out on a patrol. He was killed during a border skirmish with OakClan after he had accidentally crossed the border in pursuit of a squirrel. It hadn't been his fault, he had been distracted.... I was horribly saddened by my brother's death. He was the only one who I actually felt close to anymore. And with a simple mistake, he was gone.
After that, I felt as though I never truly belonged in MarshClan. Of course, I don't think any cats know of my true mother, but even so... at times I think I can feel them looking down upon me, not approving of anything I do.
A few moons after Boarfur's death, Loonheart was killed by a badger who had taken up residence in MarshClan territory. While I had been quicker to forgive than Boarfur, I still had been somewhat distant from my father after he told us how our birth had been such a twisted affair. This I feel horrible about. He is gone now, and how had I treated him before he died? Like a diseased rat. Or something similar.
It haunts me every day that I never told him that I forgave him... and I hope he knows it now.
In PineClan while we were growing up, my sister Brownpaw was killed by a fox and my mother died soon after. I never really have known what Spottedflower died of, though there have been tales of how she seemed to have lost the will to live after Brownpaw was killed.
As for Pumaheart, well I am not sure about him. I don't know whether Spottedflower told him about Loonheart, nor do I know if he knows I am his sister.
I do hope that he does and someday we are able to speak openly, as brothers and sisters should.
